IELTS Essay that I wrote in order to track my progress in writing
International English Language Testing System or IELTS for short,is an exam that is quite important to take if you are trying study or work in any English speaking country. Here i want to share with you the essays i wrote for mock exams with criticism from my teachers. I hope you find it useful.
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- 2022/03/23
Topic : In many developing countries there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this? (You have 40 minutes to write. Be sure to write more than 250 words)
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The water we drink, air we breathe are limited. Despite the earth being made 70% of water, the amount we can use is less than 0.3% of it. On top of this, the earth is constantly losing air into the void of the space. We are polluting most of it. At this point it is highly unlikely that we are going to have enough of these resources by 2070. Most of the industries play a huge part in the pollution. The waste produced from industry and construction are tricky to efficiently get rid of. It is a common thing to see on social media of waste being dumped into water sources such as lakes, oceans and rivers just because it is not important for the industries behind it.
I believe the biggest solution for the problem at hand would be to discourage the industries from polluting fresh water supplies by creating a dedicated and strict taxing system for environmentally unfriendly industries. Although most of the developing countries that depend heavily on said industries will have a hard time in terms of economic growth. Recycling is also an option that has been avoided by many because of being expensive, not efficient enough and not dependable. Recycling is expensive, and for the past years it has hardly given any good results. For instance, it takes three times the effort to recycle plastic than to just creating a new one. Because the plastic has to be recycled mechanically, the quality off said plastic degrades for each time it is recycled. According to national geographic channel, only 9 percent of total plastic gathered to recycle are actually recycled. There also has been plenty of misinformation surrounding recyclable plastic which was enough to confuse most of the people. There has been a case surrounding “environmentally friendly” plastic waste that caused people to litter more. Although we have inefficient recycling technology, I believe that recycling will become more efficient as we advance in technology.
To summarize, water and air are limited resources that is essential for all living organisms on earth. If we continue wasting and polluting it. It is evident that we are going to kill ourselves. The industry waste is the biggest reason behind the said pollution. We can save ourselves by reducing the waste we make or recycling it efficiently. It’s not too late to change things up.
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The feedback i got on this particular essay:
!. You could have talked about more stuff than above mentioned such as:
Strict environmental policies, fines and taxes targeting the industries. (as i read your essay you only partly mentioned this part and didn’t explain further)
Infrastructure (you could have talked about our the infrastructure of both developed and developing countries + what is the main difference and how it affects the pollution)
2. In this particular essay, you kind of strayed off topic and wrote heavily about plastic waste. Also it took a lot of space in your essay. Instead of this you should just mention it and try to stay on topic.
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Note: Thank you so much for reading my first article. I’m student who is currently interested in writing. I have some doubts about my abilities as English is not my first language(also i am quite new to writing) but i will keep on trying to improve myself on my little hobby. I hope whoever is reading this a great day.
